Marriage, as portrayed in the pages of the Bible, is a divine institution that bears the imprint of God’s design. It is a sacred covenant that reflects God’s love and purpose for humanity. From the very beginning of creation, in the book of Genesis, we witness the establishment of marriage as a foundational aspect of human life.
In Genesis 2 verse 18, we read thus: “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’”
God recognized the need for companionship and designed marriage as a way to fulfill this need. He created Eve as a suitable partner for Adam, emphasizing the importance of mutual companionship and support. Their bond illustrated God’s intention, reflecting the unity within the Holy Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Furthermore, in Genesis 2 verse 24, it is stated, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This verse not only establishes the concept of leaving one’s family to form a new family unit but also underscores the unity that marriage brings. The phrase “one flesh” signifies a deep bond beyond mere physical union, reflecting a spiritual and emotional connection rooted in God’s intentional design with a lifelong commitment.
Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, also elaborates on the significance of marriage as a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church.
In the biblical texts of Ephesians 5 verses 31 to 32 Paul adds,
“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
Here, Paul highlights the mystery behind marriage, relating it to the eternal bond between Christ and His followers. This comparison underscores the divine purpose of marriage to mirror the selfless love, unity, and sacrificial nature exemplified by Christ’s relationship with His Church.
Throughout the Bible, marriage is often used as a metaphor to depict the relationship between God and His people.
In the Old Testament, God’s covenant with Israel is frequently depicted as a marital relationship, emphasizing His faithfulness and the mutual commitment expected from both parties.
In Isaiah 54 verse 5, God declares,
“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.”
This imagery reinforces the spiritual depth of marriage and its connection to the divine covenant between God and humanity.
However, While God’s love is evident in His establishment of marriage as a sacred union, He also acknowledges the complexities of human relationships and provides measures to address unfortunate situations. The Bible’s teachings show that the subject of divorce within the context of marriage carries significant weight.
The specific reasons for divorce, rooted in the preservation of justice and the protection of individuals from the misuse of the marriage covenant, reflect God’s understanding of human frailty and His desire for righteousness within the bounds of His ordained institution.
What are the three Reasons for Divorce in the Bible?
Biblically, divorce is considered valid for three reasons. These reasons include cases of adultery or sexual immorality, abandonment, and abuse.
1. Adultery or infidelity: Cheating on each other
Adultery, or infidelity, is one of the major reasons for divorce in the Bible.
Adultery, defined as the breach of marital fidelity through sexual infidelity, is consistently depicted in the Bible as a violation of the covenant between spouses.
In the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20 verse 14 states,
“You shall not commit adultery.”
This commandment serves as a foundational principle for maintaining the sanctity of marriage and the commitment between partners.
Under the guidance of the Law of Moses, the Israelites were given a clear directive regarding adultery. Leviticus 20 verse 10 leaves no room for ambiguity. It explains that any man who commits adultery with another man’s wife or commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death.
The severity of the punishment reflects the gravity of the offense, highlighting the importance of marital fidelity in the eyes of God.
Jesus Christ, in His teachings, elaborates on the topic of adultery within the context of marriage.
In Matthew 5 verses 27 to 28, He delved into the deeper implications of adultery, saying,
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Here, Jesus broadens the understanding of adultery to include not only physical acts but also the intentions of the heart. This underscores the spiritual dimension of fidelity in marriage.
Additionally, in Matthew 19 verse 9, Jesus addresses the issue of divorce in cases of adultery. He said,
“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
In this passage, Jesus acknowledges that adultery can be a valid reason for divorce. He clarifies that when one partner engages in sexual immorality, the innocent spouse may have grounds for divorce.
Apostle Paul offers guidance on avoiding sexual immorality.
In 1 Corinthians 6 verse 18, says “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”
Paul’s words resonate with the urgency of protecting the sacredness of one’s own body and honoring the commitment made within marriage.
To emphasize the gravity of adultery as a sin against marriage, the story of David and Bathsheba is a story to be referenced for this cause. Despite his anointing and devotion to God, David’s moment of weakness led to dire consequences. Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, paid the ultimate price for David’s indiscretion.
“And Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat and drink, and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.”Then David said to Uriah, “Wait here today also, and tomorrow I will let you depart.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next.” (2 Samuel 11 verses 11 to 12).
This narrative underscores the far-reaching impact of infidelity, reminding us that even those after God’s heart are not immune to its pull. This simply serves as a stark reminder of the destructive nature of adultery, not only in terms of marital trust but also in its impact on families and society as a whole.
Navigating the issue of adultery and infidelity within marriage is a complex journey where legalism must yield to compassion and grace. While adultery is acknowledged as a potential reason for divorce in the Bible, it is essential to approach this matter with sensitivity, wisdom, and grace.
The ultimate goal is the preservation of the marital covenant and the potential for reconciliation and redemption. Couples faced with the aftermath of adultery are encouraged to seek counsel, prayerfully consider their choices, and seek the path that aligns with God’s heart.
The story of Hosea’s marriage to Gomer provides a remarkable metaphor for God’s relentless love and the possibility of restoration despite adultery. Hosea’s obedience in pursuing his unfaithful wife reflects God’s willingness to forgive and restore His people, even when they stray.
Hosea 3 verse 1 emphasizes this theme:
“Then the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans.”
Likewise, in John 8 verses 1 to 11, we encounter the compassionate heart of Jesus as He confronts a situation involving a married woman caught in adultery. His response offers a profound lesson in grace and redemption. While not directly addressing divorce, this story underscores Jesus’ desire for repentance and restoration, inviting individuals to turn from their sinful ways.
Adultery and infidelity are constant reminders of the canal nature of humanity and the struggle against temptation. The biblical narratives and teachings discuss the weight of these actions, emphasizing the importance of fidelity in marriage.
As Christians, we are called to uphold the sanctity of marriage, seeking to honour God’s design while extending grace to those who seek redemption on this challenging journey. However, it’s important to note that these passages are not meant to encourage or promote divorce. The Bible consistently upholds the sanctity of marriage and emphasizes reconciliation and forgiveness.
In cases of marital issues, Christian couples are often encouraged to seek guidance from God in prayer and guidance from their pastors, counselors, and other spiritual leaders to discern the best course of action according to their circumstances and their understanding of biblical teachings.
2. Abandonment and Desertion: Leaving your partner
Abandonment or desertion is another reason for divorce, as stated in the bible
The sacred institution of marriage, beautifully established in the pages of the Bible, is a covenant founded on love, commitment, and unity. However, the Scriptures acknowledge that abandonment and other challenges can indeed mar marriages.
In the New Testament, Apostle Paul addresses the scenario of a believer married to an unbeliever:
“But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.” (1 Corinthians 7 verse 15)
Here, Paul acknowledges that abandonment by an unbelieving spouse can result in a dissolved marriage. While the emphasis remains on seeking peace and reconciliation, Paul recognizes the reality that a believer cannot control the choices of their spouse, and in cases of abandonment, the believer is not bound to marriage but at liberty to divorce in such circumstances.
Similarly, in the Old Testament, law we encounter God’s compassion for the vulnerable, even within the context of marriage.
Deuteronomy 24 verses 1 to 4 offer insights into a scenario involving abandonment, stating,
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce. puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, when she has departed from his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.”
This passage touches on the painful situation where a wife is dismissed due to ‘uncleanness,’ often interpreted as unfaithfulness. While not explicitly stating abandonment, this law acknowledges the potential reality of rejection.
Biblical narratives such as the story of Hagar and Ishmael (Genesis 21 verses 8 to 21) provide glimpses of abandonment’s harsh impact. Hagar and her son were sent away, seemingly abandoned, but God’s intervention brought comfort to their distress.
Throughout the Bible, unity and faithfulness within marriage are upheld as paramount. In Matthew 19 verses 5 to 6, Jesus quotes Genesis, reaffirming the foundational purpose of marriage, which involves a man leaving his parents to marry his wife, and by the holy union, both become one flesh.
Hence, they should be treated as one and shouldn’t be separated by any man.
“and said, ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” ( Matthew 19 verses 5 to 6)
This underscores the divine intention for marriage to be a lifelong partnership, for better or worse, in sickness or wealth, till death. The passage also acknowledges the principle of unity beyond physical boundaries.
The story of Joseph and Mary provides a unique perspective on abandonment. When Joseph learned of Mary’s unexpected pregnancy, he initially considered divorcing her quietly to avoid public shame (Matthew 1 verses 18 to 19).
However, an angelic visitation guided him to a different path, demonstrating God’s divine intervention and Joseph’s willingness to extend grace in the face of uncertainty. Joseph’s decision showcases the potential for reconciliation and healing even in challenging circumstances.
In overcoming the complexities of abandonment and desertion, it’s essential to approach these situations with a heart of prayer and humility. While the Bible offers principles, each case is unique, demanding discernment and pastoral guidance.
The core message remains rooted in Christ’s teachings: love, compassion, and the pursuit of reconciliation when possible.
While the Bible recognizes abandonment as a potential reason for divorce, it also encourages believers to seek restoration whenever possible. Every effort should be made to address conflicts and mend relationships, reflecting God’s desire for unity and reconciliation.
As we study abandonment and desertion through the lens of Scripture, we find that God’s heart reaches out to those left in the wake of broken relationships. Within the boundaries of divine wisdom, the law of Moses and the teachings of Jesus offer grace, protection, and solace for those who find themselves in the painful throes of abandonment.
Let us approach these matters with understanding, empathy, and a commitment to reflecting the redemptive love of Christ in our relationships and decisions.
3. Abuse: No respect for each other
Abuse is another inferred reason for divorce, as the Bible preaches respect and love between partners.
Abuse can be emotional abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse, all of these can lead to an abusive marriage.
Apostle Paul’s words in Ephesians 5 verses 22 to 33 highlight the Christ-like love husbands are called to demonstrate:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5 verse 25)
This underscores the biblical expectation for love, respect, and mutual care within marriage as opposed to abuse and cruelty.
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus addresses the topic of divorce, shedding light on the broader context of God’s intention for marriage. While Jesus reaffirms the sanctity of marriage (Matthew 19 verse 6),
He also acknowledges the reality of human brokenness. In Matthew 19 verse 8, Jesus explains,
“Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so.”
In this statement, Jesus points us toward God’s original intention for marriage—one of love, unity, and mutual respect. While divorce was permitted under specific circumstances due to human frailty, Jesus directs our gaze toward a higher standard: the heart-transforming power of love and reconciliation.
Yet, in cases of abuse and cruelty, the teachings of Jesus do not negate the potential need for intervention and separation for the sake of safety and well-being.
In contemplating the topic of abuse and cruelty as grounds for divorce, it’s vital to remember that God’s heart is filled with both grace and truth. While divorce should never be approached lightly, the biblical principles of justice, compassion, and redemption guide us in understanding when separation might be necessary for the protection and healing of the wounded.
May the Word of God sharpen our discernment as we tread this delicate path, seeking the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and guidance to navigate toward wholeness and restoration. Let us journey not only toward healing within marriages but also within the hearts of those bearing scars from abuse and cruelty.
Common Misconceptions about Marriage
Marriage is frequently perceived through an unrealistic lens, which can result in elevated expectations and subsequent disillusionment.
God’s purpose in creating marriage was to establish a bond that reflected His nature and love. Divorce was never a part of His original plan but entered as a consequence of human sin and brokenness. While the Bible does acknowledge certain situations where divorce may be permitted, it does so with recognition of the weak state of humanity.
With this being stated, failed marriages can be the result of some misconceptions about marriage.
First, while marriage does bring joy and fulfillment, it is not solely about personal satisfaction. It is a selfless partnership where both spouses contribute to each other’s growth and the advancement of God’s Kingdom.
Marriage is not a guarantee against loneliness. True companionship starts with our relationship with God. Only then can we approach marriage as a union of two complete individuals, supporting each other’s journeys.
Also, marriage isn’t a platform for comparison with other couples. God designs each marriage uniquely, tailored for a specific purpose. Comparisons can lead to discontent and hinder the blessings God has in store for the union.
Additionally, some Christian couples might believe that once they are married, all their problems will magically disappear. However, marriage does not eliminate individual challenges or relational issues. Open communication, compromise, and continuous effort are still required.
Expecting complete agreement on every aspect is also another misconception about marriage. Healthy disagreements and differing opinions are natural in marriage. After all, we all disagree to agree.
Therefore, It’s important and advisable to learn how to respectfully discuss and manage these differences with love and respect. Also, individuals getting married should seek proper counsel to demystify the misconceptions about marriage.
How different Christian denominations view divorce
Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage, resulting in the dissolution of the marital bond between two individuals. It’s a complex and emotionally challenging process that involves various legal, emotional, and social aspects.
Different Christian denominations have differing views on divorce due to variations in how they interpret and apply the biblical passages that discuss marriage and the possibility of divorce. Some denominations hold a more conservative stance, on biblical grounds, advocating for the sanctity of marriage and limiting divorce to very specific circumstances, such as adultery or abandonment.
Others may have a more lenient approach, on biblical reasons, considering a broader range of reasons for divorce, such as irreconcilable differences.
However, members of other religions have different reasons for divorce. Some see only the ground of sexual immorality as a legitimate reason while others might see second marriage especially when done in secret as their main reasons for divorce.
The cultural context of the time in which the Bible was written also influences how divorce is understood. In ancient times, marriage was often closely tied to social, economic, and cultural considerations, and divorce carried significant implications.
Cultural norms regarding marriage and divorce during biblical times may differ greatly from contemporary perspectives. Understanding these historical and cultural aspects is crucial for interpreting biblical teachings in a relevant manner.
Hence, the complexity of understanding the concept of divorce in the Bible stems from the need to consider multiple factors, such as the limited scope of biblical discussions on divorce, the diversity of interpretations among Christian denominations, the influence of cultural contexts, and the teachings of Jesus and other biblical figures.
Conclusion
Marriage requires intentional effort, communication, mutual respect, and sacrificial love from both partners. Each individual plays a significant role in nurturing the relationship, fostering an environment of understanding, forgiveness, and growth.
As we reflect on the three reasons for divorce outlined in the Bible, let us remember that our marriages are precious unions meant to reflect the love and unity between Christ and His Church. Divorce should be a last resort, pursued only after every effort at reconciliation has been exhausted.
Let us take to heart the importance of seeking God’s guidance in our marriages, recognizing that His wisdom and grace can guide us through even the most challenging of circumstances.
May we also embrace our individual roles within the marriage, committing to loving our spouses as Christ loves the Church, being quick to forgive, and extending grace in times of difficulty. Let us remember that marriage is a lifelong journey, and the challenges we face can be opportunities for growth, healing, and a deeper connection with our partners.