It does not matter if you are married or dating. God does not want you to treat your wife or girlfriend poorly. If you are in a relationship with your girlfriend you are to treat her as a child of God. And your wife should be treated even more strongly.
She is not only a child of God, but a responsibility God has given you to protect and keep safe. God has a lot to say to the Christian husband who mistreats his wife.
He also feels the same way about an unbelieving husband who is mean to his wife. If you find yourself not being the husband that God has called, you to be then here are some verses that will convict you to be the man of God you are called to be.
Galatians 3:28 We are all equal in God’s eyes
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
There are some Christian men who believe that men are more important than women. There are even churches that will teach these false teachings.
They believe a man can mistreat his wife or punish her as a parent would a child. There is no such thing in the Bible. God sees all people as equal. In this passage, the apostle Paul reminds us that we are all equal in God’s sight.
If you are women stuck in this kind of relationship, I have good news for you. God wants you to know that he sees you. He loves you. He doesn’t want you to live this way. Find someone you trust and talk to them about what is going on in your marriage. Make sure you find someone you can trust.
Malachi 2:16 Divorce comes from hate.
The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
When we are hurt by a stranger or even a friend that is difficult. However, when women are hurt by their own husbands this is a kind of hurt that is so great a wife can feel defeated. Remember how you felt about your wife when you first asked her to be your wife.
Remember how much you loved her. Remember how you wanted to protect her and keep her safe. If you don’t feel that way anymore then pretend you do feel that way until you really do.
The saying is fake it until you make it. So, think about the feeling you had when you were first married, and act as if you still feel that way, until you once again do.
1 Timothy 5:8 A man who does not take care of his household is worse than an unbeliever.
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
A Godly man does not put his own wants in front of his family. A man should create a safe place for his family so they can thrive.
When a man has the fear of God in his heart, he will treat his family with the care he knows God has called him to. A real man will care about his household and want to take care of them. If you do not take care of your family, you are not a real man, you are not a man of God.
Colossians 3:19 Do not be harsh with your wife.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
The love a husband gives his wife is a good thing. In this verse, the apostle Paul uses the word “harsh”. Husbands are told to not be harsh or use harsh words when talking to their wives. When a husband speaks harshly to his wife this is a form of emotional abuse.
When we think of abusive husbands we often think of physical abuse, however, emotional abuse is just as harmful and God commands husbands to never treat their wives this way. Husbands and wives should treat each other with mutual respect.
Genesis 2:24 Leave your father and mother.
For this reason, shall a man leave father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
After we are married, we can still seek emotional support from our parents. But this should not be our main sense of support. As a husband, you have to leave your mother and father and turn to your wife.
If we need extra help we can look to our heavenly father for guidance. A healthy marriage is one where you have created a new family that stands alone.
If you are depending on your parents to take care of your family, or allowing your parent to make decisions about your family then you are not leading your family the way God has commanded you to do.
I Corinthians 11:3 What does it mean to be the head.
But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God
I was just having this conversation with a friend about this concept. We have a mutual friend who seems to believe this verse means that the husband is the boss of his wife, he controls her, and she must listen to him.
This is not what this verse means. When the Bible says the man is the head of the wife it means that he is the protector and provider. Jesus is the head of the church. What did Jesus do? He gave up heaven to come to earth, and then he laid down his life for us.
Jesus showed in his life that to love is to serve. He served mankind. When The Bible says that the husband is the head of the wife it means he should serve her, protect her, and be willing to lay down his life for her.
God’s design for the family is one free of domestic abuse.
Proverbs 15:1 Use soft words to her
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
When couples argue it can be a natural thing to use harsh words with each other, but this never gives the right results. This only drives a wedge between the couple and gives them more things to forgive each other for.
God’s intention for the family is to have a husband and wife who show selfless love for each other. A good husband does not treat his wife with unkindness.
Philippians 2:4 Put other’s interests ahead of your own.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.
The Bible is full of stories of people finding peace in times of trouble. A husband who cares for his wife and puts her interests ahead of his own will be a husband with a happy marriage. All human relationships thrive under mutual respect and love.
The marriage relationship is even more vital. We must treat each other the way we want to be treated ourselves. This is God’s plan for the family. A place of peace and safety.
A husband should give his wife a place to live where she can spend the days of her life living in peace and security. The role of the husband is to create that place for his wife.
Ephesians 5:25-28 Love your wife with the love Jesus has for the church.
Husbands love their wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it
Husbands are called to love God the same way Jesus Christ loves the church. Jesus gave his life to save us from sin.
He came to earth, giving up his throne in heaven to live as a poor son of a carpenter. Jesus put the needs of each of us before his own needs.
While on earth he was a servant. Caring for the poor, the sick, and the people rejected by society. He then willingly laid down his life for each one of us. This is the love God calls for husbands to show their wives.
If you are struggling to love as God loves, then take this time to turn to God in prayer. Prayer is a powerful weapon and a tool we often forget to use.
When we pray, we experience God’s love. Prayer will change us, change our hearts. I have seen many bad husbands change when they begin to spend time alone with God in prayer. This is the way husbands can grow as Christian young men who want to serve God.
Psalm 11:5 Only the wicked love violence
The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.
God does not want us to live with sinful behaviors he wants us to be free of wickedness and to hate violence the same way he hates violence. When a man follows biblical principles, he will have a soul that loves what is good and hates wicked things.
A man who loves God and serves him will hate violence. A godly man will be passionate about serving others and stopping violence. The worst kind of violence a man can do is to hurt his own wife. A man who fears God would never think of such a thing.
Ephesians 4:31 What to take out of your marriage to make it successful.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice
God wants us to live a moral life, his laws are there not to harm us but to bring us guidance. When we see the world through God’s eyes, we see a world full of people hurting who need to see and feel his love. We don’t see a world where people should be attacked, physically or by slander.
If we slander other people, we are damaging their character. This is not something we should do. God tells us to not treat others this way.
A husband who talks negatively about his wife to others is not living for God. When a man slanders his wife, he is hurting her. This should never be done.
Matthew 5:32 God hates divorce.
but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
In this verse, we see how much God dislikes divorce. He only allows divorce in the case of sexual relations outside of marriage.
If your marriage has a rule that divorce is never an option that will create an environment where you feel safe and free. Jesus was clear that he wanted husbands to work things out with their wives instead of divorcing them.
God wants marriages and families to stay together and create an environment where children can thrive. This is God’s plan for our society. A community built by strong families where children grow up feeling secure and loved.
1 Peter 3:7 Take care of those weaker than yourself
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
What does it mean when the Bible says that our wives are the weaker partners? It means literally what it says. The woman is weaker than the man.
That means the man needs to be responsible and make sure the wife is cared for and protected. This means tasks around the home that take more strength should be autonomically done by the husband.
There was a time when men in general would stop a woman and help her if she was carrying something heavy. Unfortunately, society has somehow convinced us that protecting women and helping them with tasks that take strength is abusive to women. The exact opposite is true.
Another type of people we need to care for is those who have gone through trauma in their lives. There are people who have lived through trauma.
If you have not been helped and counseled through the trauma you should start first by seeking help and healing. God comforts those who survive trauma. Makes sure that you as a husband are not treating your family in such a way that they have become people who have lived through trauma.
Colossians 3:8 Put these things away.
But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
God gives you exactly what you need to know to keep a marriage together. First, take anger out of your heart. Ask God to keep your heart clean from anger. Then take away wrath. The anger that you do feel you must not act on. Never slander each other, and when you are speaking to each other never use obscene words. Be calm, rational, and kind.
If you are in a place emotionally where this is not possible then take a break and come back once, you are calm and able to speak in a way that is helpful. Once you remove these things from your family, then you will find peace again.